A Different Calm, A Different Storm
by xplodybrain
Summary: A (not so) quiet moment before the end. 1st attempt at fanfic. Re-uploaded so now should be readable. Constructive comments and criticism welcome. Don't waste your time and mine being a jerk. Thanks Bioware for the sandbox.


Her arms ached with the want to hold him one last time, before the last push, before the possibility of never holding him again loomed with terrifying certainty. But there were so many eyes, they weren't aboard the Normandy, among friends who understood the nature of their relationship; eyes that only saw fraternization, regs being blatantly disregarded. So she made to move away, to put distance between them so the need wouldn't overwhelm, "So...I'll see you around, Major," she hedged, hating her cowardice, but knowing that there was a future to consider, she refused to think otherwise, and his career needed to be there for him if she wasn't.

Suddenly, he grasped her wrist, pulled her into his arms and crushed his lips upon hers as if life depended on it; maybe it did. Oh God she didn't want this to be the last, yet they treated it thus, injecting all the emotion they could muster, a lifetime of love into one last kiss. Their arms tightened unbearably against each other and the kiss deepened eliciting catcalls and wolf whistles from soldiers in the area. She made as if to pull away, but he wasn't having any of it. Instead, he cradled her head, keeping her where he wanted her to stay so desperately.

"That, ladies and gentlemen, is worth fighting for," someone called from across the distance. A barrage of "hoorahs!" answered in agreement.

Kaidan finally broke the kiss to whisper frantically in her ear, "I-I can't lose you again…" His voice broke with the effort of containing his emotions, "God, Shepard I don't wan-"

"Shhh-" Shepard kissed the shell of his ear, "Hey," she rose on tiptoe to graze her lips along his clenched eyelids feeling the wetness of unshed tears there, "Look at me," she whispered.

He reluctantly opened his eyes to see her, mere inches away, with the crooked smile she wore only for him. He watched her eyes as they constantly roamed over his face, read the apology there as she rubbed the deep furrow between his brows her own furrowed with the knowledge that she helped put it there. He felt the tremor in her fingers as she caressed his brows, pausing briefly to gently tap the three freckles above the right, the slant of her smile deepening in a tease, before following the the trace to the laugh lines at the corner of his beautiful expressive eyes. He watched as a satisfactory gleam appeared in hers, pleased that she helped put those there as well. She wanted to memorize every feature, every flaw that made his face hers to love and cherish. She followed the straight line of his nose to his full lips and ran her fingers along the scars there that'd played such a pivotal role in forming the man before her now, and he saw love. She cradled his face and leaned in to gently peck at those beautiful scars. "Kaidan," she whispered against his lips, "if there was any moment where I desperately wanted to say, 'Screw the apocalypse, let's go home...'"

"I know, sweetheart. I know… S'okay." he turned his head to place a kiss into her palm that she swore she could feel through her glove before he pulled her into such a hard embrace that her boots left the ground, "S'okay," he said again.

"I'll make it okay," she vowed, her voice hardening with determination. He smiled as he imagined the "N7, Hero of Elysium, Lone Survivor, Savior of the Citadel, Baddest Mother Fucking Reaper Killer the Galaxy Has Ever Seen, Commander Fucking Shepard" mantle falling into place.

"Yeah you will," she heard the smile in his voice, "and we'll go home."

'Home'. Her heart swelled at the word. Here, at the end of days, it finally meant something to her.

"Think we've given these guys enough of a show?" she asked, mildly embarrassed. Her feet were still dangling where she was being held against Kaidan.

She could feel his deep chuckle through her armor, "I suppose so."

They both winced as their armor scratched and screeched against each other, the hardened ceramic plating grinding in an unholy cacophony of sound, as he gently slid her down against him. They couldn't help but laugh and the whole courtyard laughed with them.

In the distance, Vega doubted that there was a single heart that wasn't breaking just a little bit for Lola and L2 as they said their goodbyes.

No, not goodbyes, Vega chided himself harshly. He had to believe that they would all come out to see the other end of this. Lola gave him no other choice. 'Course with their track record...

He'd watched her as she made her way across the courtyard after she'd talked to him, bolstering his resolve with her superpower that no one yet understood, and checked in with the crews like she did on the Normandy. He'd laughed to himself when he saw her try to duck around Alenko straight to the Comms officer, before the Major caught her. She was such a badass when it came to everything else, but not with Kaidan Alenko. He'd turned away after watching them talk for a minute intending to address his unit when the Corporal next to him gasped at the sight over his shoulder. He'd turned quickly in alarm only to see the Major had grabbed Lola and was planting a solid one on her.

"Way to go L2," Vega cheered softly, glad that Alenko finally dropped all pretense and showed everybody, especially Shepard, what mattered to him most. He glanced around at the other soldiers in the courtyard relieved to see that there were more sympathetic expressions than not and he reveled in the catcalls, whistles, and whoops of encouragement.

"That, ladies and gentlemen, is worth fighting for," he announced loudly and laughed as "hoorahs" echoed throughout the yard.

He'd just as shoot anyone who tried to call him a soft touch (more so because they'd be right and he couldn't let something like that get out, he had a reputation to protect after all), but as he watched Alenko's face as Shepard traced his features, he'd felt an invisible hand squeeze at his heart, forced him to huff out a pained breath. The Major normally schooled his expressions pretty tight, at least around the crew so it was staggering to see his face so raw, so vulnerable, and so...open and to the lot of them at that, strangers mostly. Everyone could see how the Major felt as plain as day and it was heart-wrenching.

Amidst a litany of sniffs, coughs, throat clearing, and claims of dust in eyes from the surrounding soldiers men and women alike, the oblivious couple embraced again and James desperately wanted to look away, the intense emotion that radiated from his comrades bordered on overwhelming, but he watched. He wanted to witness and commit to memory a love that even death could not stop. An irrefutable bond that lent strength, comfort, and hope not just to those in its throes, but to all who were lucky enough to bask in its splendor. He wanted to be able to remember it in his darkest hours, to give him the determination to keep fighting, because everyone, human or not, deserved a chance at that kind of devotion. And if they had it, like Lola and L2, they deserved a chance to keep it, cause damn it was beautiful.

And now, after the laughter that dispelled the the tension of heartache, they stood opposite; fingers still entwined his right, her right, drawing strength from the touch as they transformed. James watched, fascinated, as chins lifted, shoulders straightened, eyes hardened, and the consummate soldiers re-emerged.

As if on cue, with game faces on, they looked back at one another; with a curt nod, a cocky smirk, a teasing wink, and a defiant eyebrow, their hands ever so reluctantly let go, fingers grazing along each other, hungry for every last touch, as the Lieutenant Commander and the Major parted ways.

The spell was broken, time to get back to work.

"Hoorah," James murmured to himself, checking his weapon one last time, "Bueno. Let's get this thing done."


End file.
